If you've ever felt like you were bottling up your emotions, you might have wondered, 'Why can't I cry?' Feeling like you can't cry can stem from factors including depression, personality, medications, medical conditions, trauma, and social expectations.
You might feel unable to cry even when you're sad, anxious, or in pain. Not being able to cry when you want to or feel like you should can feel confusing and distressing.
While crying can sometimes be unsettling, it can also have important emotional benefits. Research shows that crying can help you release emotions in stressful or distressing situations. It can even help you physically clean your eyes out and help you communicate feelings.
However, there are some circ*mstances in which people can have difficulty crying. Read on to understand why you can't cry even when you are sad and what you can do about it.
Why Can't I Cry: Possible Explanations
You might wonder, 'Why can't I cry?' for several reasons. First, you should understand that you are not alone and, in most cases, there's nothing to worry about. There are physical, emotional, and psychiatric reasons why crying may be affected.
Here are some common reasons why people find themselves unable to cry.
Medical Conditions
Certain medical conditions simply make it physically difficult or impossible for you to shed tears. Conditions like dry eye syndrome physically impact the production or release of tears from your tear ducts.
Dry eye syndrome, known as keratoconjunctivitis sicca, is characterized by poor tear production. It is more common in people who wear contact lenses but can also be linked to pregnancy, hormone changes, age, rheumatoid arthritis, eyelid inflammation, diabetes, and thyroid problems.
Medications
Being on certain medications can reduce or stop your ability to produce tears. One study showed that 46% of people who use antidepressants experience blunted emotions. These medications can help relieve symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other conditions, but they can also sometimes affect how people experience and express emotions.
Case reports suggest that selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), in particular, are associated with this inability to cry when sad, highlighting the role of the serotonergic system in expressing emotions.
Certain other medications may affect tear production and contribute to dry eyes. Medications that can impact tear production include:
- Antihistamines
- Decongestants
- Anti-Parkinson's drugs
- Antipsychotics
- Antispasmodics
- Beta blockers
- Diuretics
- Hormonal therapies
- Anticancer drugs
- Proton pump inhibitors
- Isotretinoin
- Aspirin and ibuprofen
- Hydrocodone and oxycodone
Other substances, including alcohol and cannabis, can lead to dry eyes. Some herbal supplements, including echinacea, kava, and niacin, can contribute to dry eyes.
Climate
If you once found it easy to cry and are now finding it difficult because you relocated, it might be because you moved to a drier climate. While it's not the most common phenomenon, living in an arid environment may cause your tears to dry up even before you realize it. Your body is also more likely to produce fewer tears.
Windy conditions can also affect the production and evaporation of tears. According to the American Optometric Association, this can lead to the reduction of normal tear production and cause eye dryness, which makes it more difficult to produce tears.
Surgery
If you've had eye surgery, you could experience difficulty crying. Laser-assisted in situ keratomileuses (LASIK) is a surgical procedure used to help people with vision problems improve their eyesight. One of the side effects just after the surgery is dry eye, making it difficult for you to cry.
Mental Health Conditions
While some people might find themselves crying more due to living withmental health conditions like depression and anxiety, others find that they become unable to cry. Conditions such aspost-traumatic stress disorderand major depressive disorder can sometimes cause you to feel muted emotions that might prevent you from crying.
While it might seem like depression would lead to more crying since it can cause feelings of sadness, many people experience feelings of emptiness or apathy. This can affect how a person experiences and expresses their emotions, making crying more difficult.
Depression often causes melancholy, characterized by flat emotions and disinterest in the world. Anhedonia, or a loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, is another common symptom of depression. Research suggests that people who experience anhedonia also have a more challenging time with emotional expression, including crying.
Emotional Repression and Suppression
People deal with emotions in different ways. While some people have a very expressive style, others are more subdued, repressed, or find it hard to express their feelings, including crying. And some people may intentionally suppress their emotions to avoid revealing what they are feeling.
Frequently withrepressed emotions, you might not even realize you are unconsciously avoiding your feelings, which is why you might be confused by your inability to cry when sad.
Research suggests that suppressing your emotional expression can have adverse health effects. Behaviorally, suppressing emotions can contribute to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Physiologically, it can lead to higher stress levels. Evidence indicates that this emotional suppression increases the risk of an earlier death.
Abuse
Surviving emotional and physical abuse can have a negative impact on the way you process emotions. One of these is learning not to cry, especially in situations where crying has spurred further abuse from abusers in the past. Abuse survivors also sometimes experience numbed or muted emotions.
People who experience abuse and trauma may use emotional numbing as a way to disconnect from pain and distress. While this can provide temporary relief, it can make it difficult for people to connect with what they are feeling, which can make it difficult to cry.
Societal Expectations
Certain societal and cultural standards sometimes ascribe shame to crying. Gender stereotypes can also play a role here. Hearing statements like "boys shouldn't cry" or "crying is a sign of weakness" often makes boys grow up thinking that it's wrong to cry.
The Dangerous Effects of Toxic Masculinity
Why We Need to Cry
Crying is a healthy way to express your emotions, and can help you feel a sense of relief in stressful, sad, or anxious situations. Crying also has a myriad of physical and psychological benefits. Some of them include:
- Pain relief: If you are in emotional or physical pain, crying can help you feel some relief from your pain. When you cry, your body releases hormones such as endorphin and oxytocin that help reduce pain.
- Communication: Tears can sometimes help people understand what you are feeling when expressing your emotions. Tears are an early way we learn to communicate distress to those around us. Crying can gain social support from friends and family who will respond to your expression of emotion with empathy and concern.
- Social connection: In addition to communicating your emotions, they can also serve as a way to connect with others. One study found that people who struggle to cry also reported less connection with others and reduced empathy. They were also more likely to exhibit a more avoidant attachment style.
- Cleanse your eyes: Tears can help give your eyes a good cleanse when you are most in need of it.A lack of tears can lead to damage to the eye's cornea and damage to vision.
- Mood booster: While it sounds counterintuitive, crying can sometimes help boost your mood. After a good cry, you may be likely to feel more relaxed and in a better mood.
How Accepting Emotions Can Improve Emotional Health
How to Cry If You Want to
Being unable to cry isn't necessarily a problem. Some people have honed healthy ways to feel and process emotions of sadness without crying. However, if you are concerned about your inability to cry and are looking for ways to fix that, here are a couple of tips to consider:
Find a Safe Space
Sometimes, you might not be crying because you don't feel like you've found a safe enough space for it. This can be any place where you feel comfortable and free to be your authentic self free from fear, stigma, and judgment.
For starters, you can consider crying alone or finding a private place to cry when you feel the emotions rising.
Consider Therapy
You might often not cry because you lack the tools to handle your emotions properly.Therapy can help with this.A therapist can guide you as you explore and learn about your feelings and emotional defenses that may inhibit your ability to cry more freely.
By working with a therapist, people can become more mindful and aware of their emotions. In addition to becoming more in tune with their feelings, a therapist can help people learn skills that will help them tolerate emotional distress rather than trying to repress or suppress it.
Therapy can also be a powerful tool for improving emotional regulation, which can help people better understand and manage their emotional experiences.
Lean On Your Support System
Sometimes, you might not cry because you keep your emotions bottled up and do not share them with your support system. Confiding in loved ones about your emotional struggles may allow you to feel less alone and better able to share your emotions and tears.
Research has found that when people feel that others have helped and supported them, they tend to feel better after they cried.
Why Vulnerability in Relationships Is So Important
A Word From Verywell
Crying is a natural expression of emotion that might not come easily to everyone. If it doesn't come easily to you, that doesn't mean you don't have emotions or are not healthily expressing them. Many reasons beyond your control could make it difficult to cry. However, if you feel there is something getting in the way of necessary tears, it may be time to reach out to a mental health professional.
