“Lady boys,” as they are commonly referred to, is an umbrella term for transgender women and gay or effeminate men in Thailand.
However, “lady boys” is really a bit of a slur. The phrase is a western invention that came about as a result of Westerners not being able to wrap their minds around Thailand’s numerous and multi-faceted concepts of gender and gender roles.
The actual proper term for this group of individuals is ‘kathoey.’ But, this definitely can be used in a pejorative or demeaning sense as well. In fact, in some circles, it’s used a bit lazily to describe anyone with queer tendencies. This might make the term insulting to a member of the Thai LGBTQ+ community. For example, if you call a person ‘kathoey,’ they might take it as you calling them trans when really they’re gay.
Are They Accepted in Thailand?
*Blows out air harshly*
Buckle up because as much as other blogs might want you to believe that the answer to this is simple…it’s just not.
Where to begin?
I guess I’ll start with a question. Are ‘kathoey’ tolerated in Thai society? Pretty much. Is there a ‘kathoey’ individual living on a farm in rural Thailand, reading this right now, who has suffered brutality for not being straight, who wants to punch me for saying ‘kathoey’ are pretty much tolerated? Probably.
But, we need to speak in generalities based on data.
Tolerance of ‘kathoey’ is statistically greater in cities like Bangkok than in the rural areas of the country. As much as their way of life is tolerated — are these people looked at through the lens of autonomy and dignity given to straight people? Not quite.
There Are a Few Moving Parts Here.
I’ve never read Buddhist scripture. I just simply don’t have the time. However, multiple sources indicate that the Buddhist texts refer to the existence of four different types of gender. For some people, this means that while being trans or ‘kathoey’ is a rarity, it isn’t a self-chosen abomination.
Much of my research indicates that in some cases, whatever an individual’s personal feelings toward the ‘kathoey,’ it’s not really seen as a choice. People in this category even believe that it’s a punishment for sins committed in a past life and so ‘kathoey’ might be pitied and given kindness for suffering such a punishment.
So, yeah I guess that’s a nice alternative to facing a violent mob for being queer, but it’s not quite equality and it’s obviously degrading.
How Many ‘Kathoey’ Are There?
‘Kathoey’ have a pretty sizable presence in places like Bangkok. I mean, there’s an entire tourism sector dedicated to watching them perform in a campy style, similar to what we might call ‘drag.’ And I’ve yet to see a bunch of angry conservatives holding picket signs outside those shows begging the performers to repent.
However, a lot of times a country’s laws can be an indicator of their cultural norms. As of May 2021, gender reassignment surgery is legally permitted in Thailand only IF the person has the permission of two doctors who recommend the surgery and the prospective patient is of a certain age.
BUT, even if you undergo the surgery, you cannot change the gender on your birth certificate. That document permanently maintains the sex assigned to the individual at birth.
Even just looking at gay rights, only in 2020 was there any kind of real movement in Thailand’s government to work toward legalizing civil unions between same-sex couples. This affords them rights like adopting children and holding power of attorney. However, even if that goes through, actual gay marriage is still not legal.
The Law Hasn’t Caught Up.
All males in Thailand are required to serve in the military. However, transgender women are not allowed to serve in the military, and the reason given (at least on paperwork) is “Gender Identity Disorder” which formerly was worded as “Permanent Mental Disorder” until 2011. So, receiving gender reassignment surgery is still seen as a psychiatric illness.
Thailand has had universal health care since 2002, but it wasn’t until 2007 that antiretroviral therapy, used to help HIV patients, was covered. This was because HIV most largely impacted gay male communities.
So from what I understand, ‘kathoey’ people are ingrained into society with relative ease. They can go shopping, and out to dinner, and to the mall and Thai people aren’t gawking or throwing holy water at them. As one research piece puts it, “Although there is no overt persecution, albeit, [there is] no protection either…”
However, they’re more pitied and not really given the fully dignified ‘human experience’ that others receive. There are not anti-discriminatory laws in the realm of employment against LGBTQ+ people, and thus their careers are mostly limited to service and entertainment.
So, the Thai government touts their pride of having a large population of ‘kathoey’ in the country, because they know it’s what the tourists want. But, they don’t respect them enough to create laws which allow them to live with dignity.
Shows and Experiences.
The most common place that you’re likely to encounter those who are “kathoey” would be during a performance. And you should go! Because the performers are TRULY talented!
As previously stated, many of these shows are similar, if not identical, to what we call “drag performance” in the United States or Australia. The performers dress up as celebrities like Rihanna, let’s say, and then they TRY TO STEAL YOUR HUSBAND. No, really, this sequined bitch had the audacity to look gorgeous as f*ck and try hitting on my man.
Here’s some of my favorite places to see these gorgeous and talented folks in all of their glory:
Chiang Mai Lady Boy Cabaret Show.
It takes place in the Night Bazaar, kind of inside this cool little garage. The performers are top-notch and do an amazing job of interacting with the guests. We were even treated to a dance party at the end. Anthony Bourdain visited here on his show.
Bangkok Lady Boy Calypso Cabaret Show.
This family-friendly show hearkens back to all of the cheesy elegance of the 1980s. A bit more of a “classic” style of entertainment as opposed to new and, well, raunchy.
Golden Dome Lady Boy Cabaret Show.
This has all of the elegance of a Miss Universe pageant. Prepare to leave here feeling like you need a whole new evening wardrobe and better hair.
